July 2024
Bio Note: I was born in the Soviet Union and came to the U.S. as a refugee at the age of 16. I have a bachelor’s degree in Electrical engineering and Computer Science from Princeton University and a Ph. D. in Statistics from Cornell University. I am a student in the Fairleigh Dickinson University MFA in Creative Writing program. Currently, I am translating from Russian into English anti-war poetry that is being written by poets living in Ukraine, Russia and Russian-speaking diaspora.
2:15 a.m.
Moving around by blind perception,
I find you in the unlit kitchen,
lift you to the tap.
You ring, small gong,
as water starts pouring into your wide-open mouth.
Settled on your electric pedestal,
you regard me with your glowing cat-eye.
I rest my palms on your sides,
ready to let go
the moment you heat up in earnest.
Now comes the time of the bubbles.
As they form, multiply, rise,
my hearing attunes to their song.
My mind’s eye gazes into your chamber,
follows the rite of the boiling dance.
A portal opens
into solitude, silence,
dreams beyond sleep.
Afterwards,
we make tea—
we need a mundane cover story
to keep the rest of the household at ease.
Poetry Lessons
I asked: “Teach me, please.”
The hunter said:
“Your arrows must be sharp,
Fly true and strike deep
To stop the heart before there is time
For fear or suffering.
Let your quarry fall out of the sky,
Crash in mid-leap,
Lie prostrate at your feet,
Staring at you with empty eyes.
Let your prey feed your hunger.”
The healer took my hands into hers:
“You sing, sing, sing
Sing sweetly to lull pain
Before you can touch it,
Probe it, mend it as much
As it will allow itself to be mended.
Sing sweetly, do not stop singing
While pain lies beneath your hands,
So that your patient can look at it
From over your shoulder
With your own calm compassion.”
The programmer’s instructions stated:
“Your program must be easy to read.
Pay attention to logical organization.
Segment your code cleanly into modules.
This way you and your colleagues
Can evolve it rapidly and correctly.
Test your work thoroughly under a variety of conditions.
Your users are individuals: they have different needs.
Your program must collaborate with each user
To solve the right problem.”
The guru patted the worn meditation cushion:
“It is not a matter of talent or luck.
It takes patience, discipline,
To learn to equally accept
The illusion оf repeated failure
Аnd the illusion of success.
It is a long road, a never-ending road
Towards getting out of your own way.”
My childhood teacher ruffled my hair and smiled:
“This work needs all your energy, all your attention.
What matters is making learning joyful for your students.
Your own joy will catch you unawares.”
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