how do you overcome 
shyness at 54 you don't 
you go to the party and 
before going in you swivel
around and walk to the dark
park and lean against a tree
till your heart slows   you

go to a job that has the least
amount of people working
usually a cleaning job
where no one talks to a janitor
except when they say their 
desk chair wasn't put back 
in the same place after you 
vacuumed the staples   you

don't go to family reunions
that's like sharks with spinach
bread bowls what do you do
what hours do you work no wife
kids?   you
 
stop eating with people and
tell them you don't eat meat 
dairy fish gluten-intolerant
bulimic and diabetic that pretty 
much covers it so you won't 
see hear the chewing   you

tell everyone you're sick
permanently because it hurts
to be touched hugged what
an invasion so embrace your
shyness overcome nothing at
54 solo means lonely only in 
Spanish peer out your 12th 
floor apartment see the specks 
holding hands they are so 
together no not lonely or
are they
                        

elbow no longer out to  
all who felt tethered
to last night's sleep 
yawning loop 
to waking fingers

it cradled liquid
a crater oasis 
above the arid floor
where all drips die
to vicious sock
or clorox wipe

many kissed its rim
its bloodless lip
their hands embracing its 
#1 DAD facade

it never denied 
the vilest of mouths
those mires of relatives 
their gingival scum
and stalactites of
widowed neighbors

let us not toss it
but resurrect it
broken arm put aside
 
as a vase for lilies
never at ease in the dirt
who wanted a 
life cut short
and soilless

may they be brief 
pines in this bravely 
imperfect urn of 
salivating glaze