With your last uneasy breath
the scale of distance
between us
grows to infinity
a ratio impossible
to understand
a separation
no touch can breach
no arm encompass
leaving me baffled
and alone
without a map
reliable enough
for comfort
grief threading 
every thought
forgetting you
as impossible
as weeding out
sweet peppermint
from a garden
where it spread
unchecked
and even the roots
sifted through by hand
carry your scent
                        

I could get my thoughts
to behave
to sit neat and quiet
like school children
in rows of wooden desks

but they won’t be still
they won’t obey
any but their own
restless inclinations

running their baroque
agendas
pulling rabbits out of
imaginary hats
dangling from high wires
without a net
teasing the lions
until they jump
through hoops of fire

giddy with the thrill of risk
they push me past
the reach of sleep
into exhaustion
this gray world
where there is
no light
no heat
nothing 
to breathe
nothing to eat 
but ash
                        

When the Aztec dancers
took the grass circle
their splendor unhinged my jaw
and I stood empty
a fool with mouth agape
as my soul flew out
to meet the face
of the jaguar
fierce center
of a radiant
nimbus of feathers
crowning the dancer
with a halo bright and dangerous
as the sun’s corona
in a full eclipse

And together we danced
hearts beating hard
with the drums
our strength and beauty
grave and perfect
as Jaguar dancing
behind the mask