July 2022
Alan Walowitz
ajwal328@gmail.com
ajwal328@gmail.com
Author's Note: July already? How did that happen? Jim's suggested theme for July is, what does it mean to be free? I don't know the answer, but I know how unfree I've felt lately, oppressed by events. "American Carnage Tra-la-la" is a bitter poem written in the wake of the 2019 mass murder in a Wal-Mart in El Paso. "Drills" is a newer one, though I know the same poem's been written many times before. The last couple of weeks we've seen Buffalo, Uvalde, Tulsa, Philadelphia. Naming them doesn't do justice to those we've lost there, and in too many other events we've already forgotten. It's always been a challenge to be free, but it seems so costly now.
American Carnage Tra-la-la
One faraway Facebook friend I sort of hardly know posts news of Cielo Vista in El Paso and asks, Where’s next? After the Garlic Festival, the stalls redolent with gunpowder and the Creole buds that fry up like wine, the Black garlic so sweet it could be cake, we figured Walmart would be safe— with the goods from China we’ll swallow whole, no matter the tariff, in our desire to have them cheaper and soon— the baseball caps that almost fit our giant American heads, the tee shirts that will shrink to the size of placemats once they’re washed. And the color TVs with the all-American names like Sylvania, a light unto the nations, and Emerson, reminding us of the self-reliance we’re known to take a little far like hunting alone, down the frozen food aisles, such bounty all ready for the microwave: Hot Sale, $59.99, 1200 Watts for any who come with cash. Border wall or no, we’ll take their bucks. This is his American Carnage, after all. Where’s next? Dayton, we’re here— and coming soon to a town near you. You had to be there, someone always used to say. Hey, you gotta be patient. The way we’re going, you will.
Originally published in Dissident Voice
Drills
From our first day, we practiced the fire drill and the shelter drill squatting in the hallway or beneath the desk asses toward the windows and never making a sound till after the siren’s last moan. Later, the bomb-scare and then dispersal, kind of like on pep rally days, except no one stays around, not even the ones with big heads and googly eyes. I stayed long enough to see the intruder-drill though this, being school, you could never call a thing what it is—but the kids they knew: once they pushed the desks and chairs against the door and someone comes by and bangs hard with his ring of keys. His voice from the hallway calling, Let me in. Please, let me in. A girl in the corner begins to cry; a boy in suspenders mumbles a prayer he knows by heart, and we know it’s the principal from his plaintive sound and the way he jangles his keys. The teacher says, You should never, but her mouth makes no sound. And the girl whose eyes were blank lets out a sob from inside her soul that rattles the clock at the front of the room, the one that’s locked in a cage and hasn’t worked since before most of us were born.
©2022 Alan Walowitz
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