March 2021
Bio Note: I am happily ensconced in my new office/studio, and fully expect a spurt in
inspiration and productivity to arrive any minute. While I wait for that to happen, I am editing
the recently discovered memoirs of my stepfather, the American sculptor Harvey Fite, creator of Opus 40.
Bears Hire Fox As Coach; Ravens Settle With Rice
Sports page headline
Hommage a la maitresse, Mme. Nancy Willard
I.
M. Reynard—our habitat
No longer suits us—may I broach
Un 'ti sujet tres delicat?
Vous etes sans peur et sans reproche,
and we, mere oafs with no eclat—
Would you agree to be our coach?
We'll do whatever we must do,
We only want to be like you.
Mes freres, this task I'll undertake,
Deliver you from ursine gaucherie.
I'll teach you where to buy your cake--
Patisserie instead of grocery,
Your wardrobe I will overmake,
Your hairy legs will sport fine hosiery.
If you'll accept this new approach,
Heureusement, I will be your coach.
II.
An Ursa Major was King Bruin,
But now in more than brutish power:
He'd social graces like Don Juan,
The tactic skill of Eisenhower.
He sent a message to the Tower
Of London's highest level, where
The King of Ravens had his bower:
Pay tribute to the Royal Bear.
The Raven King was not amused:
“Pay tribute to this furry upstart?
Methinks his Highness is confused—
He has the stature of a pushcart.
I'll bet he buys his lunch at PetSmart.
Go tell him I've no time to spare--
I am no sycophant or sweetheart.
No tribute to no Royal Bear.”
“Your army's not worth what it was worth,”
M. Reynard gave sage advice.
“In battle on the field at Bosworth,
The bears disperse our flocks like mice.
I think we're wiser making nice.
I'd ask our legions to prepare
Twelve weddings' worth of long grain rice
To offer tribute to the bear.”
Prince, be forewarned – a fox's voice
May tip the scales, with weight to spare.
Malheureusement, there is no choice
But tribute to the royal bear.
©2021 Tad Richards
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