Excuse me, sir,
but did you once 
sixty years ago
come upon three cub scouts
in blue uniforms wandering lost in a small forest
hearing bears in the underbrush, vultures in the sky
and you guided us to daylight
where no one had missed us?
Oh. Well, anyway, 
let me give you a beer.

Pardon me, ma’am, 
but did you once 
substitute-teach a high school English class
the subject was poetry but you only knew limericks
and the class was in stitches;
you made us promise not to tell
but they never hired you again?
Oh. Well, anyway, 
let me give you a beer.

So sorry, sir, 
but did you once
as a night watchman come upon
a boy and a girl kissing without clothing 
in the factory shadow in your flashlight beam
and you said “Don’t make a mess”
and moved on?
Oh. Well, anyway, 
let me give you a beer. Three beers
and I’ll show you pictures of some 
fine little messes, grown big and gone away.