February 2017
Joel F. Johnson
joelj339@gmail.com
joelj339@gmail.com
I'm a businessman and chronic English major who began writing poetry about ten years ago. Sometimes, I find myself switching back and forth between a spreadsheet and an unfinished poem. My first book of poems, Where Inches Seem Miles, was published by Antrim House at the end of 2013. In 2014, Kirkus Reviews selected it as one of the best books of the year in the Indie category. I've benefited from workshops at the Concord Poetry Center and from the journals which have published my work, including Rattle, Blackbird, and Salamander. My website, joelfjohnson.com, includes a few videos where I've attempted to combine a reading with appropriate images.
Please Turn Off Your Cell Phones
Good evening. We’ll start as soon as everyone is seated.
Those of you on rows with empty seats,
if you will move toward the center,
that will help tremendously. Wonderful. Thank you.
We still have some seats here on the first few rows.
That’s right. All the way down. Thank you.
Thanks so much. We’re just about ready to begin.
Soon, we’ll be dimming the lights
but leaving the runway strips and exit signs on.
We’ve experimented with total darkness,
but our entertainment technicians believe
a little light enhances the client-consumer experience.
The doors will be closed, chained and padlocked.
When firefighters arrive with bolt cutters,
it will be too late. Already, our ETs
are seated among you, selected
from a pool of volunteers that grows larger every year.
It’s their decision when to begin.
You can see we have a full house tonight.
If you came prepared to exercise
your Second Amendment rights,
please do so. It adds spontaneity.
Also, feel free to move around, but please be aware,
the floor does tend to get slippery.
Good evening. We’ll start as soon as everyone is seated.
Those of you on rows with empty seats,
if you will move toward the center,
that will help tremendously. Wonderful. Thank you.
We still have some seats here on the first few rows.
That’s right. All the way down. Thank you.
Thanks so much. We’re just about ready to begin.
Soon, we’ll be dimming the lights
but leaving the runway strips and exit signs on.
We’ve experimented with total darkness,
but our entertainment technicians believe
a little light enhances the client-consumer experience.
The doors will be closed, chained and padlocked.
When firefighters arrive with bolt cutters,
it will be too late. Already, our ETs
are seated among you, selected
from a pool of volunteers that grows larger every year.
It’s their decision when to begin.
You can see we have a full house tonight.
If you came prepared to exercise
your Second Amendment rights,
please do so. It adds spontaneity.
Also, feel free to move around, but please be aware,
the floor does tend to get slippery.
©2017 Joel Johnson
Editor's Note: If this poem(s) moves you please consider writing to the author (email address above) to tell him or her. You might say what it is about the poem that moves you. Writing to the author is the beginning of community at Verse Virtual. It is very important. -FF