July 2016
Janice Canerdy
jlcanerdy@yahoo.com
jlcanerdy@yahoo.com
I am a retired high-school English teacher from Potts Camp, Mississippi. Life in general and my grandchildren in particular inspire me to write. I especially enjoy writing—and reading—rhymed, metered poetry and mourn its near-demise. I get a real charge out of parodying the famous poems I taught my students—while keeping a perfectly straight face and assuring them that studying such noble literature would greatly enhance their lives. I stay busy with a variety of activities at home and church.
Parody of "When I Have Fears That I May Cease to Be"
by John Keats
by John Keats
THE ORIGINAL:
When I Have Fears That I May Cease to Be
When I have fears that I may cease to be
Before my pen has glean'd my teeming brain,
Before high-piled books, in charactery,
Hold like rich garners the full ripen'd grain;
When I behold, upon the night's starr'd face,
Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,
And think that I may never live to trace
Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;
And when I feel, fair creature of an hour,
That I shall never look upon thee more,
Never have relish in the faery power
Of unreflecting love;—then on the shore
Of the wide world I stand alone, and think
Till love and fame to nothingness do sink.
THE PARODY:
When I Have Fears July May Cease to Be
When I have fears July may cease to be
Before I get my IRS refund,
Before I clutch that treasure with wild glee,
And therefore feel no longer moribund;
When I behold the cruise brochures and think
of sweet July romance with my new beau,
And fear my check will be delayed, I sink
Into a funk and crave that money so.
And when I fear, new wide TV, that I
Might have to wait till fall to purchase thee
or pay for online poker games, I sigh
And hope that check has wings and flies to me.
If I seem shallow to you who this read,
I'm typical—confusing want and need.
When I Have Fears That I May Cease to Be
When I have fears that I may cease to be
Before my pen has glean'd my teeming brain,
Before high-piled books, in charactery,
Hold like rich garners the full ripen'd grain;
When I behold, upon the night's starr'd face,
Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,
And think that I may never live to trace
Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;
And when I feel, fair creature of an hour,
That I shall never look upon thee more,
Never have relish in the faery power
Of unreflecting love;—then on the shore
Of the wide world I stand alone, and think
Till love and fame to nothingness do sink.
THE PARODY:
When I Have Fears July May Cease to Be
When I have fears July may cease to be
Before I get my IRS refund,
Before I clutch that treasure with wild glee,
And therefore feel no longer moribund;
When I behold the cruise brochures and think
of sweet July romance with my new beau,
And fear my check will be delayed, I sink
Into a funk and crave that money so.
And when I fear, new wide TV, that I
Might have to wait till fall to purchase thee
or pay for online poker games, I sigh
And hope that check has wings and flies to me.
If I seem shallow to you who this read,
I'm typical—confusing want and need.
©2016 Janice Canerdy