j.lewis Verse-Virtual 2016 January

January 2016

I am a poet, musician, and nurse practitioner. My poetry and music reflect the difficulty and joy of human interactions, drawing inspiration from life experiences as well as imagination. When I am not writing, composing, or diagnosing, I love going out on my kayak, exploring and photographing the waterways near my home in California.

Editor's Note: In his submission letter, Jim wrote: "["home far away"] "is an exploration of my very sad inability to remember details about major events in my life. Therefore the refrain “I don’t remember” mingled with the feelings, which are much more clear to me."

home far away

first lasting image says
there was a fence
maybe white

i don't remember clearly

i was still young
at a new place
where others tell me
i drew a lipstick line
along the newly painted walls
toddler's home-warming gift

i don't remember at all

but i was there
a very long and lonely time
playing at hearts
losing and playing again
with girls whose names

i don't remember kindly

at eighteen
i was gone for good
even though i returned
from time to time
back from school
from france
and finally
with new love in tow
but never for long

i don't remember reasons

promises and plans
a settling in and down
to somewhere new
and soon familiar

i don't remember changing

years
miles
and dreams ago
how hard i wished
for the sand and sagebrush
not to be my home
not to bind me
to the past i could not change

i don't remember often

but childhood finds me here
in lucid dreams
in odd moments
when a random name or face
calls me to a home
now far away