Parodies of Companion Poems

Christopher Marlowe's "The Passionate Shepherd to His Love"
and 
Sir Walter Raleigh's "The Nymph's Reply to the Shepherd"

            The Passionate Playboy to His Prey of the Week


            Come on and be my part-time love,
            And we'll make life a pleasure groove.
            We'll sit on hills and meditate.
            Come on and be my part-time mate.

            And we will run upon the sand
            On all the beaches hand in hand.
            We'll lie half naked in the sun,
            Swill booze, and have all kinds of fun.

            You'll really love my waterbed.
            We'll have a blast. Who needs to wed?
            We'll plant some flowers. For beauty? Nope!
            They'll serve to camouflage our dope.

            A gown from Frederick's, lady fair,
            So sheer you'll wonder if it's there— 
            Of joys like these you'll have your pick.
            Come on and be my part-time chick.

            We'll have the gang in this weekend.
            I'll let you swing with my best friend.
            What else is there to offer you?
            Come swing with us, or we'll be blue.





          Prey of the Week's Reply to the Passionate Playboy


            If all the world and love were young
            And truth in any playboy's tongue,
            These shallow vows would not me move
            To come and be your part-time love.

            I'm in no shape to jog or run,
            and spacing out is not much fun.
            Skin cancer's such a threat, you know.
            The beach is not the place to go.

            I've no desire to float half-crazed
            With a playboy bleary-eyed and dazed
            Who goes through fifty girls a year
            And spends his weekends steeped in beer.

            You plan to share me with your friend?
            Your generosity knows no end!
            Your rotten ideas really stink.
            I think that you should see a shrink.

            Before I leave you feeling blue,
            Here's one thing I must say for you:
            You offer one thing that never fades,
            The ever-present threat of AIDS.


                -first published in October '14 issue of Parody Magazine