November 2015
I am an English professor at a two-year college where I teach writing (creative and expository) and literature. My poetry has appeared in a number of small magazines, and I have two poetry chapbooks, That’s the Way the Music Sounds, from Finishing Line Press (2009), and Talking to the Mirror, from The Last Automat Press (2010). In addition to loving poetry, I have written a mystery novel, Shadow Notes, which will be published next spring by Barking Rain Press. I live with another English professor and poet, Dr. Van Hartmann, and would rather be rich than famous. My website: www.laurelpeterson.com
87 Percent Chance
Total mastectomy. Hysterectomy.
Hyster—hysterical to trade sexuality for life?
This one mutates into ovarian.
Another friend, only one attacked,
took them both.
No reconstruction.
Baggie sweaters, loose blouses,
says so little difference
now and before.
But the scars?
What does it mean
to look in the mirror?
Breastless.
Breathless.
Soul in the breath.
Sexuality in the soul.
Sexuality in the breath.
Breath in the breast.
Can one breathe without them?
Finally, only, live in the mind,
abandon the body?
Mine are small.
Only one aunt died,
at 87.
It’s that or a heart attack,
my gynecologist
flipped off.
No children, I.
Not that loss.
Even diminutive,
I would still wonder
before the knife
what they meant.
In front of the mirror,
I extend down the corners of my eyes,
stretch out the edges of my nose,
flatten my lips.
Just a little
makes me someone else.
First published in SLAB, April 2008
©2015 Laurel Peterson