April 2015
I love to laugh and make other people laugh. When my kids were little I made up silly stories for them — and then turned them into songs. Now I write poetry and short stories, all humorous. I've created a Zombie advice columnist, Hideous Hilda, who counsels needy zombies. I’ve also created a character called Anxietyman who always 'saves the day' even though he’s a neurotic nervous wreck. (Yes. I based him on me...) My poems and stories have been published online and in print.
Note: The book cover below was designed and drawn by my son, Brandon Dziokonski
Note: The book cover below was designed and drawn by my son, Brandon Dziokonski
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DEAR HIDEOUS HILDA: I’m a male zombie who works for a very rezpectable and zwanky business firm. Today is Frightday. The ZEO has moaned that he’d like to see me in his RIP room first thing Moanday mourning. Naturally, I’m a scared stiff. The thought of his firing me for some revolting reason is something I just can’t get out of my crumbling cranium. Hideous Hilda, can you endarken me as to how I might deal with zuch dire zircumstances? --WORRIED ABOUT WALKER PAPERS DEAR WORRIED: I strongly suggest zucking-up to your ZEO by prezenting him with a bottle of expensive braindy and a box of top-zhelf zigars upon entering the RIP room. Then, nonchalantly compliment him on his nauseating neckdie. And, last but not least, take a look at the photographs on his desk and tell him what a frightening-looking family he has. Not only will all that carcass-kissing keep you off the undead unemployment lines, but I wouldn’t be a bite zurprised if you stumbled out of that RIP room with a ill-dieserved promoantion. Zubserviently yours, Hideous Hilda |
©2015 Brian Horsethief