December 2014
I am a retired high-school English teacher from Potts Camp, Mississippi. Life in general and my grandchildren in particular inspire me to write. I especially enjoy writing--and reading--rhymed, metered poetry and mourn its near-demise. I get a real charge out of parodying the famous poems I taught my students--while keeping a perfectly straight face and assuring them that studying such noble literature would greatly enhance their lives. I stay busy with a variety of activities at home and church. My work has appeared in The Lyric,The Southern Poetry Association Anthology, Bitterroot, The Road Not Taken, and other publications.
When I Was One and Sixteen
parody of A. E Housman's When I Was One and Twenty
When I was one and sixteen,
I heard a wise man say,
"Drink tea and Coke and cocoa,
Not Schlitz and Bud, I pray.
Drink orange juice and root beer,
And let your mind be free."
But I was one and sixteen.
No use to talk to me.
When I was one and sixteen,
Again he said to me,
"The teen a sponge for liquor
Was never meant to be.
I fear one day, my youngster,
The law will come for you."
Now that I'm two and sixteen,
I say, from jail, "'tis true."
One Perfect Nose
parody of Dorothy Parker's One Perfect Rose
A single thing about this man has power.
I see it every time he strikes a pose.
Observe between those ears like cauliflower
One perfect nose.
I know the language of this boring man.
Each word he utters makes me want to doze.
What feature holds me, his reluctant fan?
One perfect nose.
Why is it that I haven't captured yet
One perfect, sexy hunk, do you suppose?
No, it was just my rotten luck to get
One perfect nose!
©2014 Janice Canerdy